My Last Day of Work

So, it is official: I am a stay at home mom.
My last day was Friday. 
Just to remember…
For the past 4 years, I have worked at:
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It has been a great company to work for. My first job out of college, right after I we moved to Provo was here in the academic department, as a computer teacher. I worked in that capacity for about 3 months, when I moved to the residential department. I moved to get more experience with the students, but primarily to get full time. Then a little over a year ago, I moved back to Academics. I was the IEP/Testing coordinator. It has been the best job I ever had.
I mean, first off, check out the view facing my building. 

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Timp a couple of moths ago.
Rock Canyon and Squaw Peak:
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My last day came; a windy and cool Friday. I was the second person in my office, as usual. Judy comes in before 6 every day.
(Side note: this is my door as it stands today. My friend and coworker Kyle is also leaving, so they hired two people to replace us. Ben, my boss, wasn’t quite ready for the new transition, so he put all of our name plates on the door at once.)
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The office that Judy, Kyle and I shared, to the Left
Ben’s Office to the right
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Anyway, Judy was there, waiting for me with a present.
It was so adorable little outfits for baby Mirah.
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My Desk.

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It appears as it always does in the middle of the day, covered in post it notes, a half finished camelback sitting within arms readch. There are pictures from my ultrasound and a note from Valentines day from Karl taped to my board. A metal crate turned over under my desk to prop my swollen feet up on. Business as usual.

At Lunch, Ben took us all out to Goodwood BBQ. It was executive assistent’s day/My last day/ Kyle is leaving on Tuesday/New people in the office day. We ended up taking what became a 2 HOUR lunch!
The group:
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Jennifer (Jen) Sommers, Benjamin (Ben) Parker, and Kyle Russon.
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Susanne Nelson, Judy Sorensen, Austin Haake
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Ben said we could get what we wanted…So I did:
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Yes that is a three meat platter, two sides of mashed potatoes. OOOOh so good.
After lunch, where I was teased for not getting even close to finishing anything but both bowls of mashed potatoes, Ben suggested we all go to cold stone. He asked for a vote, he was the only one who said yes, so we went. 🙂
Everyone ended up getting something.
Back at the ranch…we all had a hard time getting to work that day.
Jen and I finished up a few things, tied up some loose ends, and ended up pulling little gag on Ben.
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So, let me begin with a brief explanation:
Ben doesn’t like orange otter pops.
He brought in a box and put it in the staff lounge freezer, and told me and Kyle to have one whenever we wanted. Well, Ben left town for a week, and there was tons of stuff we needed from him while he was gone. One day in annoyance, I decided to play a little trick on Ben. I started eating all of the otter pops, except the orange ones. By mid week, even after eating around 5 a day, I realized I needed to enlist help. I would get anyone I saw in the faculty lounge to eat an otter pop. If they asked for an orange one, I told them they couldn’t have it. Even with all of that, the box was still half full of non orange otter pops by the end of the week, so I dug all of the orange pops up and stacked them on top. It took three days after Ben got back to finally get him to go in there and get one. He would complain about wanting to eat something, or needing Mountain Dew, and I would casually say, “you should just go get an otter pop.” Well on Wednesday after Star testing, he finally to the bate: He walked out (by this time everyone in the building knew what I was up to, and so they all held their collective breaths as they saw him going into the freezer) I sunk in after him a and watch discretely from behind the door as he found my trick! His reactions of “What the-” was nothing compared to him tossing an orange otter pop at me every day since then. He decreed that I was only allowed to eat orange ones from then on, but I would go in while he wasn’t watching, grab a blue, then nonchalantly knock on his door eating it to ask a question. Sigh, this is the work environment I am leaving. We got a ton of work done, were all super busy, but we had a lot of laughs and fun together.

I made Ben a present on Friday after lunch, just something to remember me by:
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It is a tracing on my fist with a orange otter pop in the middle. The words say, “You’re going to miss this.”
I did good the whole day, I was so busy (outside of lunch anyway) that I really didn’t have a chance for much else. Then around 4:30, Kyle came in and said:
“Well, I’m leaving…”
Then the tears came. Kyle and I have worked so well together. We have had so much fun, and our styles are so different that we complimented each other really well. I am so sad to not see him everyday. He is going to a sweet job at Morgan Stanley up in SLC. He deserves it.

Then Ben left, more tears, Susanne and Judy slipped out before all of this.

As I drove through the gate that day, I started sobbing.

Earlier this week while I was doing the dishes, a scene from a random Haley Mills movie poped into my head. I just found this on You Tube:

Watch it.
I don’t know why I thought of it at the time.
The reverend Mother goes on about what may have been. Then Haley Mills character asks,
“But how could you give it up?”
The Reverend Mother, with out skiping a beat replies,
“I found something better.”
I just smiled to myself, and didn’t think anything of it.

Back to Friday:
I sulked all night. I talked to Karl, Brandon, and Krysta.
When I was going to bed that night, I found a text from my mom.
M: “How was your day?”
A: “Good, but really sad”
M: “About leaving work.”
A: “Yeah, I will miss it.”
M: “I know. It’s hard.”
A: “Yeah”
M: “Giving up something good for something better.”

Immediately, I thought again back to this little scene.
It has been funny, telling people that I work with that I am not coming back. The reactions have been funny to see. There is something inside of me that has wanted to hide my decision from people. Maybe out of embarrassment, I don’t know. Most of my professional contacts are out of state, and not LDS. Their reactions have made me the most nervous to receive, but they have all been so positive. They all seem to say, what I feel the sprit has confirmed. I am giving it up for something better. That this time in my little babies life is not to be missed, and if I am blessed enough to be able to be there at home for her….

I am sure Monday will be hard. I have been having contractions all day, but nothing huge or consistant. 7 Days to go until my due date. Who knows how many days until I deliver. I am already trying to plan on what I can do to fill my days before the baby comes.

I do know, this is the right thing to do for our family.
Here’s to a new adventure.

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