An aside before I tell today’s story:

This episode of Bluey, perfectly describes what today felt like.

 

Last night, while taking a shower I broke the faucet knob. The only way to get the water off, was to shut off the water, to the whole house.

Karl was on top of it. He was off that morning, with the water off, and the toilets out of service, rushing to get things fixed. While we were working on that…

Mirah and Lucas were outside on the swing. They did this thing, where they twist and wind the swing until it is up high, then they let it go and it spins super fast. Well, as it was spinning, Lucas freaked out and jumped off, and got his neck caught on the rope on his way down. Lucas looking at these pictures makes me SICK to my stomach. It is a really bad rope burn and some bruising on one side of his neck. He was pretty upset, but not as upset as me. I turned on a show and made him lay down in bed with me. Meanwhile, Karl finsihed the tub, and the water was back on, and we could use the toilet again.

It is just SO clear, it could have been SO much worse. I am so terrified, and relieved, and sad, and worried. And I love him so much. We just snuggled.

 

My mom stopped by, and we all went out to the backyard. Mom picked her tomatoes. I told her about the accident. Then, from out of nowhere, Mirah asks. “People have to be married to have babies, but then why do people who are married give up their babies…” I say, “Well, do you don’t have to be married to have a baby, its BEST if you are married, but you can have a baby and not be married.” Without missing a beat, “but how?” Karl and I gave each other a look, and we knew it was time to have THIS full fledged conversation. I said, “do you remember we talked about sex?” She said, “I’ve heard of it, but I don’t really know about it.” I said, I will tell you what, we will talk about it in a minute, I will get some good books out to explain it. My mom left…and then began, our first big sex talk.

I had been preparing for this for YEARS. We had been calling the kids genitals by their real names, we had given them no shame about their naked bodies, I had been open about my period, and my body, so hoping that Mirah especially had a good foundation of information we set off with the Human Body book:

Both Karl and I were there. Both Mirah and Lucas were there. Our overarching goal is to help the kids understand that this is all a part of human life. That is may seem weird, but that it’s something everyone will experience one way or another. We talked about men and women’s different sex organs. I explained the reproductive cycle of a woman, and Karl explained the mans. She showed where the eggs come from, and where a baby grows, and Mirah asked the good question, “how do the eggs get fertilized?”

We explained about periods, and erections, and about ejaculation. It was a lot. Mirah was attentive and Lucas was interested too.

We did our best to be sex positive. We told them, most every adult you know, has had sex. Yep y’all we named you by name. I told them, “I believe, and the scriptures teach that it’s best to wait to have sex until you are married. I did that, and I am very happy I did. However, sex isn’t just to have babies, it is a way to be closer to a person you love, and it feels good, it’s fun.”

Oh man, it was intense for us, but we did everything we could to make sure it was an open and accepting atmosphere, with no shame or negative. A place with facts, truth, and love.

UPDATES:

Lucas’s Neck Injury Update: The Next Morning (August 23rd) :

Looking lots better, less red and smaller.

August 27th:

Mostly bruises. It was gone a few days later.

 

Sex Talk/ Maturation Update (Sept 20, 2020):

We have been following up with the kids about all this stuff. Mirah is less interested in the sex stuff, and more interested in the maturation stuff. We have been using these two books for each of the kids. They are both able to look at either book.

85% of both books is hygiene. BUT there is a lot about the tough stuff too:

Mirah had gotten really interested in boobs and periods lately, and so this book has been a really good place for us to start talking. She has started wearing training bras. I can’t believe it. She’s getting so grown up. We talked about my period and how I have PCOS. That my period isn’t like the book describes. That she’s eight now, but that we just want her to be ready for when she does get her period in the next 2-5 years.

Her feed back has been, “I feel a little worried and uncomfortable talking about my body, but I know this is stuff I need to know. So I will talk about it.” I love her. Such a sweet girl. Getting SO grown up.