It has been a pretty big shock, really the past month has been really bad.
One thing that I didn’t know was that antidepressants take 2-3 weeks to kick in at all. And 2-3 months until you feel “much better.” My days have been full of random tears, nausea and a feeling of hopelessness. My already sleep deprived nights have turned truly sleepless and anxiety ridden.
I am writing about it here for two reasons.
1. I find that my memory of the past few months is bad. Even memories of my sister’s wedding are already super hazy, and I want to try and remember this time so that if there is another baby in our future I have a record of what happened.
2. If anyone is reading this, which who knows at this point, that I am going through it, so if you ever need someone to talk to about it you have me. I feel like everyone says that lots of women go through it, but I couldn’t really name any. So I want to be open about it.
One thing I am trying to do, after some good advice from my dad, is recognize the many blessings in my life despite my brain being a little broken right now.
One such blessing:
Kami Houck, my visiting teacher.
(A picture and another example of her amazing service to me)
I opened up to her about my troubles and she offered to help with the kids.
For the next little while, she is going to come over once a week and take both my kids so that I can sneak out for a little while and do something on my own.
A pedicure. My first one since my birthday in June.