So this week I was released from my calling of nearly 4 years. I have served as the first counselor of the Primary Presidency of the Cascade second ward since January of 2017. Lucas was just starting nursery. Mirah was just starting CTR 4. Since church isn’t a place I take a lot of pictures, and since weekly planning meetings are the kind of place that the is often confidential info shared, this large part of my life has gone mostly undocumented. But seriously, it is such a huge part of my life and has been for these past years. I have served in many callings in the church. Not since my mission have I felt such a deep connection of love with the sisters I served closely with.
For my own record’s sake, and to capture some of the sadness, honor, laughter, tears, and joy felt while we served together, I am taking the time to write a little something to memorialize our time together.
Here we are back in July 2017.
From left to right: Melissa Swan, Me, Sydney Raynes, Kristin Beckstead. Six months in, and already we were having a blast together. So much has happened in all of our lives since this picture was taken. Babies, weddings, deaths, missions, surgeries, near death experiences, financial troubles, a pandemic, marriage troubles, faith crisis’s, baptisms, court dates, weight loss and gain…
None of us have been immune to hardships. But our friendship and our weekly presidency meetings were safe places where we would yes plan and work and pray for the children and families of our ward. We would also cry, and share, and laugh, and joke, and be ourselves unjudged and loved by all the others there. We had the time, and took it sometimes when we didn’t to be together.
Here we are at the last baptism we could attend before the pandemic, in January 2020. Oliver Kennedy.
(Side note on this picture: Oliver’s dad died suddenly while we were a presidency, 6 months earlier. I took pictures for DOZENS of baptisms over the last few years, and this was the first time anyone had asked me to be in the picture. Sweet Oliver. Oli is a boy it took me a minute to know and understand, but I love him SO much now, I can’t imagine ever not being totally in love with him. Sydney is his aunt, and his cousins were there, but she was sick that day. One of the great blessings of serving in a Primary, the love that Hevenly Father lets you feel about the wonderful children.
I think I will indulge myself, and take time to talk about each of these women, and what is so wonderful about them individually.
Kristin Beckstead.
I LOVE this picture of Kristin.
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I have no idea where she got this sweet little number. It seems to be a crocheted Halloween apron. I love it so much. Here she is. She was directing traffic for the party. She is just so good about being where she is needed, not worrying about offending people, just seeing a spot she is needed and filling it. I am not sure if she ever had an official assignment for this, she never told us if she did. I remember being surprised to see her there, and thinking I should have done more to make myself avaiblable to help. The youth were putting on a Trunk or Treat for the Primary children in the ward. Kristin’s son was in young men, and I believe at the time her husband Ryan was in the Elder’s Quorum Presidency. They made two trunks.
This is just SO Kristin. She is always so ready to help, sacrifice and love. If she ever can’t help, it’s because she is already helping someone else.
These pictures of her in primary surrounded by kids are just-just perfect. We were getting ready for our Primary program, and we needed to leave the chapel. And Krstin had the kids come back into the Primary room. She could have just played a game or left them to their teachers or let them run free in the church. No, not Kristin. She gathered them all around her on the floor, as close as she could get them. And she told them about the Savior. She bore her testimony. I remember that day feeling the spirit so strongly. I often think about this momement when I think about why I love Kristin so much. She is never one to push anyone ways. She always tried to pull people in, help them feel like they belong, and that they are loved.
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Another picture of Kristin I love. It was during a Primary Easter activity. Put on by the youth, supported by the Primary. For the Primary children. We were all there with the kids. Kristin was trying to get the kids all lined up on the stage to get ready to make annoucmenets and get them ready for the Easter Egg Hunt. This expression in one I have seen so many times. It is her thinking on her feet. She will be super active, then suddenly stop, raise her hand for a moment, think about whatever problem needs to be solved, then make a decisive decision, then right back to feverish activity. Here she is deciding in the moment what she wants to do. She is such an example of working hard, and being ready to make a decision and just move forward. I often get so twisted up on what to do, that sometimes nothing gets done. Not with Kristin.
Then there is the whole Beckstead family. Let’s not go down the rabbit hole of how much I love Kristin’s whole family. Trevor and his wife Angela and their two kids Kyler and Dee-they lived with Krystin and Ryan for a time. Ang even served in the primary for a while. I know I felt so much closer to them than they did to me, but I got to hear all about them, all the time. Xane, helped in Cub Scouts, during a time that we couldn’t get any help, even though he was in a student ward-GEM. Then there is Korin, she was in Young Women’s when I was the sports coordinator. She was so great and was always there. She grew up, and Mirah took Piano from her, we love her. We went to her wedding. I am probably closest to Korin. Then there is Sam, pictured below. Sam was still in Primary when we moved into the ward. I remember being a sub for his class. He was just a crazy little kid. NOW, he’s a senior in high school, he is driving, and this year he even made the bean pizza for the Primary Meet Your Teacher activity. (Bean pizza is a Beckstead family favorite that Kristin has made each year for our pizza activity.
Three years of this activity. Something I would have NEVER thought of, but Kristin did. She thinks about what would make the kids most comfortable, and then does everything she can to make sure they are as happy and comfortable as possible.
Things I learned from Kristin:
Listening to the kids, show them you love them by listening and meeting them where they are: There were a few times in the first year of our presidency, that kids were being ridiculous and silly, and disruptive and just rude. I am a very reactive person. So I would want to meet rude with rude. Ridiculous with ridiculous. Kristin took the kids requests about doing a play in the front of Primary, and bringing blankets in to sharing time, and demanding candy as a reward for just behaving-all very seriously. She took time to talk to them, consider them, and treat them like people with their own thoughts and feelings. I was really bad at that when we started, and I learned from Krisitn’s example how to better serve, love, and validate the kids (and the leaders).
Love of the Church and Scriptures: Kristin was always the one to bring us all back to the Savior. She was always the one to testify of the scripters. She was always the one to remind us about our prophet and leaders who think about us and love us. She would pick up her phone as if she was only using it to read the scripters. She has a vision of what Zion is, and she isn’t going to wait for someone else to initiate the love of the people of Zion, she will begin it. I am not sure how conscious she is about this, or if her testimony of these things is just who she is. She always made sure after a meeting with the bishop to share and send his love, and always added her gratitude. She always made me feel like I was apart of something bigger. She LOVED the scouting program. I did not, and still do not. HOWEVER, after serving with her, I could see the value in the program, and if it was available to all the children, I could get on board. Having said that, she was a valiant supporter of the new program that was introduced while we served together. She was it’s greatest champion and threw her whole self into it to make sure that it was successful for our children.
True Life Long Discipleship, What’s Mine is Yours: I have never seen anyone design their life in such a way, with seemingly very little design to do anything that doesn’t help someone else. I first realized this when I listened to her talk about her work as an Allison’s Pantry Rep. She loved working there so that she could get discounts on things to give to people, make for activities, and share with us. She made a little money, but she was always giving it away. It was nuts. She opened her home at every chance for our primary meetings, for Primary “thank you” activities, for game nights, for my kids, for her daughter to teach piano…I could go on. She has some terrible back issues, and has this “shaker” machine, and she was always so fast to offer use of it to anyone who might need it. One day I went over to talk to her about something, and she was ironing a huge pile of table cloths. Come to find out, every time there is a funeral in our ward, she irons ALL of the Relief Societies table cloths, so that at the funeral luncheon, everything will seem nice, no one will be distracted on a day that they are suffering, by creases in the table cloths. This must take SO much effort, we had TONS of old people in our ward. She says its a way she can serve the all the people in the ward she loves. Now, not to worry, she also helps provide food for the funeral, serve at the funeral, and makes meals for the families too.
Everyone Needs to be Encouraged and Thanked, every chance you get: I have served as a Primary president, counselor, teacher, music leader, cub scout leader, and activity days leader. NEVER in all of my many opportunities of service, have I EVER seen someone take such care and effort to thank and appreciate and support the teachers and leaders of the Primary. She made sure that every quarter we did something for the teachers. One Christmas we gave them all hand written notes, listing the things that we knew that they did to serve the kids. In the summers, she always tired to do a BBQ. She did game nights, getting to know you activities, home made ice cream and cobber gatherings, pretzel making activities, gifts for Christmas, not to mention every time she talked to any of them she thanked and thanked them for their time, effort, and service. Her gratitude was contagious. It opened my memory and mind and heart to the hard the teachers work with the kids, how hard it can be sometimes, and how thankless it often is. I found my heart FULL of gratitude for our teachers and leaders, and couldn’t stop myself from thanking them every chance I got. The whole atmosphere of our Primary was lighter, because we all noticed the efforts and work of the others, and felt so thankful for the time efforts given. I think that this was one of the reasons we all loved it so much, it felt like we were in a place were we were not only appreciated, but needed and doing something that mattered.
Every moment Counts, Use your time/life to do good: Kristin once said that “video games are what’s wrong with kids these days.” As a lover of video games, I bristled against this remark. BUT, seeing how Kristin lives her life, I understand and aspire to this comment. She is the most busy lady I know. As shown in some of the comments above, she is a person who is busy doing good for others. She works for Allison’s Pantry to make some money for her family, but also to make sure she can give away and help as many as she can. She and her family LOVE to travel. They have been everywhere, and it makes me so happy to see her doing something that makes her so happy. She never takes pictures, she says she is bad at it. BUT I feel like it is always because she is so focused on the things she is working on, she can’t stop to give thought to taking pictures, she’s too busy. (I feel like Melissa really lives this way too.)
There is room in your life for everyone who wants to be there: Kristin is a LOVE BOMB: The moment I knew Kristin, I felt instantly connected to her. I remember when I got up to bear my testimony in our ward, she was sitting right in the middle of the chapel, looking right up at me, holding my eyes, and giving me the biggest smile. I felt like she was listening to me, like she was connecting to the things I was saying, like she was happy to hear what I had to say. THAT is how Kristin behaves with everyone basically all of the time. When we were called as a presidency, she made room in her life for me, my kids, and husband. She celebrated my birthday, her daughter Korin taught Mirah piano, she invited us to Korin’s wedding reception, she let us in, and we were a part of her life. This is the thing I worry about-I will have less of Kristin in my life, and it will leave a big hole there.
Melissa Swan
Before we were called into the Primary, Melissa was probably the person I knew the best. She and her family live two houses down from us, and they had been really fun and sweet supportive neighbors. When we first moved in, we weren’t used to knowing your neighbors. They all knew each other, but we didn’t know anyone. We were easy to pick out. So one soon after we moved in, I was unloading the car, and Melissa’s husband Brad was walking quickly straight up to me and wasn’t slowing down, and totally freaked me out, I was kind of short with him as he approached. He was helping a neighbor replace a fence and would need to get into our yard sometimes to do it. I felt so embarrassed about being scared and defensive when he approached me, I think that I kind of made a bit of a barrier to us becoming better friends.
Once we were called, that was all gone. We were FAST friends. We went from acquaintances to frequent visitors at each other’s homes. Her daughter Grace has become the FAVORITE babysitter of our kids, and her some Landyn is Lucas’s best buddy. Landyn was dealing with some issues and he even got to hang out with us several times during the day when we went to Thanksgiving point museums. Once she had me go over and check on her son Dallyn after a surgery, and they are always the best about helping us water plants and get mail when we are on vacation. They had fruit trees, berry bushes, chickens, bees, and a huge garden in their back yard that they ALWAYS share with us. The Swans are the BEST neighbors you could imagine. And Melissa is their fearless, tireless, loving, generous leader. I seriously love her SO much.
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Here she is at the annual ward Pioneer Day activity. Her daughter Grace, looking SO BABY!!! We had this idea about giving the kids balloons to tie onto their bikes for the bike parade that they do every year. SO Melissa, took the lead got the helium and the balloons, was there first thing in the morning to fill, tie, and prepare balloons. By the time I got there, when we said we would start, they were almost done! She just is such a hard worker; she sees what needs to be done and just does it.
Things I learned from Melissa:
Fierce Love for Your children: Melissa is one of my first close friend to have a child go on a mission. (Kristin had Korin leave on a mission while we were serving too! While we served Korin graduated high school, served her mission, got married, and her husband had a near death experience that left him with a pacemaker.) It was so cool to see first hand the tugging’s of a mother’s heart as mission service beings, continues and ends. Loads of changes happened to the program while he served including the change to rules about face timing your family. You could see the joy of his successes, the pains at his struggles, and the ache of longing to be together on her face as she told us all about his mission. While we served her daughter Grace, struggled with some serious health problems that required Melissa to give her a medicine in the middle of the night, so she could sleep. I never ONCE heard Melissa complain about it. She was just SO happy they had something that was working to help Gracie get better. Then there was to years long struggle with insurance coverage of medications, we fasted and prayed as a presidency so that Grace could have the medicine she needed, and prayers were answered, miracles were seen. I have witnessed her kids struggle with school, mental health issues, and social problems. In every instance, she gave her WHOLE self to the problem. In every instance she was fiercely committed to the struggles of her children, and I watched as she loved loved loved them. Their safety, health, education, and futures are her first priority. I feel SO thankful to her. I have been able to watch and help where I can, and see her strength through it all. She was always on their side, supporting them.
Despite difficulty, illness, conflict, and trails continue to work hard: As described above, there was SO much
Open house to all: Honey, Peaches, Strawberries, Bunnies, Chickens, and Candy: The Swan’s have an open door policy. They make sure everyone knows, all are welcome! Melissa always has candy in the house, and every time we come over, she always fills the kids pockets with treats. Their back yard is a thing to behold. They have a big hutch on one side. Filled with chickens that lay eggs that they are always happy to share. Also living there are rabbits of all sizes and colors. She is always happy to have the kids visit the rabbits. Throughout the yard, there are fruit trees, and every year she has me come and take as many peaches as I can can. They also have a cute fenced in garden with veggies and two big beehives. We have been the recipients of the honey these bees produce and it is delicious. Then there is Melissa’s personal strawberry patch. She keeps berries there, and is constantly weeding there. Every year she says she is going to just pull it up, but it has really started to produce the most delcious berries, and she always has us come and eat to our heart’s content.
They are always the first people in the neighborhood to reach out to others on the street. As new families have come and gone, she has always hosted them first. She always has storied that start, “so and so was at my house and…” I feel like a hermit, as much as I host, Melissa hosts MORE. We had several Primary appreciation activities at her house. She is just the hostess with the mostest.
Swans Serve, leading by example: The balloon story from above was just one of countless examples of when the Swan family showed up in a big way. Like the Beckstead, and the Raynes, the Swans are mainstay in the Cascade 2nd ward. After every activity, after every gathering, every ward clean up or service project the Swan family is there. Our building takes monthly turns to clean by ward. We always get to go the same week as the Swans and it is just the absolute BEST! They are Pros AND they all work SO hard.
I remember when we first moved to the neighborhood, I was pregnant and tired and it had snowed early one Sunday morning. I woke up early to find Landyn Swan shoveling my sidewalk. He never asked if we needed help, he never asked for a thankyou, he just did it. I will love him forever for that single act of service.
Grace has been our sitter for years. We haven’t seen her as much as we want since COVID, but she always does an amazing job, and she LOVES our kids. She is kind to our kids, and she is always so sweet and good.
BRAD. Brad Swan is always working so hard. He is ALWAYS helping someone in the neighborhood with something. He is a carpenter and in addition to his work as a FED EX delivery man, he also picks up jobs on the side to do remodeling work in the neighborhood. He replaced the fence for our neighbors, and I just have rarely seen someone who works SO hard all the time. He is funny, and kind, and I just think the world of him.
I could go on about Dallyn. He is a leader of the youth in the ward. He is the hardest worker at every ward clean up. He knows the table and chair carts in the cultural hall by heart. He is uncommonly kind to my kids, most teens could care less about paying attention to neighborhood wild children, but Dallyn always makes a point to say hi, and be sweet to them.
I don’t know Bradyn as well. He was on his mission for a lot of our time together. Having said that, I had a front row seat to the events of his mission. It was a highlight of my life to hear about his experiences, struggles, and successes. By all accounts, and with no surprise, he was a hard working dedicated missionary.
Sydney Raynes
Before I was called into the Primary, I didn’t know Sydney at all. We had both recently had babies, and they had just moved back into the ward during my postpartum depression period. She is warm, and kind, and funny, and sometimes quiet and we have SO much in common. She is married to David Raynes, (who I ADORE) so she is part of the Raynes Dynasty of the ward. HOWEVER, she comes from her own family who live locally and they are SO much a part of her life too. She was hard for me to know at first. She tends to keep her opinions to herself unless asked, and she is SO hard to read. It wasn’t long however when I realized how hilarious she is. She has a dry sense of humor, but loves to laugh. Like the other sister’s I have described she is always SO fast to volunteer for projects and I am constantly impressed with her talent and knowledge.
She has three kids: Two boys Calvin and Lewis and she JUST had a baby girl named Quinn. Our boys play together and Lucas especially LOVES them. I mean, I think I love them more. I Calvin is so serious, and Lewis is so silly, and Quinn is SO sweet! Lewis used to confuse me for one of his many red headed aunts, and it just made my heart SO happy. She has always been willing to share her sweet kids with us. They are SUCH good kids.
Sydney was a teacher before she had children, and her home is FULL of books and toys and things for kids. She is one of those people who just knows-she knows how I am feeling, she knows all the things that are going on…she gives the most sage advice, and has the best taste in everything. I seriously love her.
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Here is that laugh. As serious as she can be, she is so silly. We have had SO much fun serving together. SO MUCH FUN.
Things I have Learned from Sydney:
The Gospel is personal, and I can stand on my own two feet: I won’t say much here, but Sydney has been such an example to me. Sometimes, you have to stand alone. It is hard and scary, and you feel like there is no way you can do it. But with your own testimony, faith, and feelings from the spirit, it can be done, and Sydney’s example meant SO much to me.
I am here for you, and I mean it, let me show you: Sydney has been there for me in a pinch unlike so anyone I know. When we took Lucas in to get his tonsils out, Sydney took Mirah for me, and took her to school. When I have PTA meetings and there was a weird cross over with school, Sydney took care of Lucas for me. She just heard me complain, and then offered. And then did it. Many times.
Our kids are about the same age and they all play so cutely together. 
Being a mom is a joy: This woman LOVES her children. She knows her children. She is so connected and in sync with her children. She is so gentle and loving and at the same time SO realistic about what to expect of them. I have never known anyone who seems to love being a mom more. She makes me want to be a better mom. Watching her with her sons, always gives me amazing ideas. She makes it all look so easy, but never so easy that she doesn’t seem to be working hard as she can. IDK, she is just the best mom.
Just because my career is on hold, I am still a professional: Sydney was a teacher before she was a parent. I often feel like the professional part of me is gone, my education and training, just draining out of my ears every day. Sydney on the other hand, has a way of using and sharing her expertise in every day life. Her advice on school, discipline, the Alpine School district, and kids book recommendation are always GOLDEN. Some women have a job that they like that supports their families. Others like Sydney, are their profession, if they are getting paid or not.
Some Storied of our Time together:
August 2017
Cleaning the Provo Temple
It had been SO long since I had been to the temple, this opportunity was an answer to prayer. We had a nice meeting with members of the ward before we started cleaning. The bishop addressed us. It was fun to be back in the basement of the Provo temple, where I had served for a year as a temple worker. We met Brother’s Prayer room, then got our assignments. Kristin and her family vacuumed and clean the Baptistry. Sydney and I were sent up to vacuum the Sealing rooms, endowment rooms, and then we actually got to vacuum the celestial room. The sister who was an employee there, introduced herself as an OCD lady. That we had to vacuum just right, or we would have to do it over again. We had to vacuum in straight lines. It was already so perfectly clean. There were a few little specks here and there, but mostly it felt like we were showing the temple and Father our love by making sure it was perfect. Here is a picture we snapped on our way out of the temple. I am so grateful we had the chance to be in the temple in this way.
2018: Learning the Articles of Faith
The Chart, Reciting, and The Primary Program
One Sunday I was teaching Sharing Time. I shared the following story from President Monson:
“Forty-five years ago I worked with a man named Sharman Hummel in the printing business. I once asked him how he came to receive his testimony of the gospel.
He responded, “We lived in the East. I was journeying by bus to San Francisco. In Salt Lake City a young girl entered the bus—a Primary girl—who sat next to me. She was going to Reno, Nevada, for a visit with her aunt. As we journeyed westward, I noticed a billboard: ‘Visit the Mormon Sunday School this week.’
“I said to the little girl, ‘I guess there are a lot of Mormons in Utah, aren’t there?’
“She replied, ‘Yes, sir.’
“Then I said to her, ‘Are you a Mormon?’
“Again her reply: ‘Yes, sir.’”
Sharman Hummel then asked, “What do Mormons believe?” And that little girl recited the first article of faith; then she talked about it. Continuing, she gave him the second article of faith and talked about it. Then she gave him the third and the fourth and the fifth and the sixth and all of the Articles of Faith and talked about all of them.
Sharman Hummel said, “I was profoundly impressed. When I arrived in San Francisco, the very first thing I did was to look through the yellow pages for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I called the mission president, and he sent two missionaries to where I was staying. I became a member of the Church, my wife became a member, all of our children became members.”
The entire Hummel family remained active in the Church. Each of the daughters has been to the temple. Countless are those who have been brought to a knowledge of the gospel by the members of this family—all because a young child had been taught the Articles of Faith and had the ability and the courage to proclaim the truth.
After teaching this story, we were talking in our presidency. I said I thought it would be cool if we started to learn the articles of faith as a primary. Kristin was very excited about the idea. We then spent the next year learning them. It was a crazy process. Here is the chart we used. We didn’t want the kids to have their name on a chart for everyone to see or for people to feel bad. We kept a chart. But just for the kids to see.
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We had this big chart up, so the kids could put a sticker up, and pass off the articles of faith as many times as they wanted.
We as a presidency took turns a month at a time teaching one or two of the articles of faith to the kids.. We didn’t necessarily go in order. We all taught them differently. Here is Kristin teaching the kids the 12th article of faith. I did singing a lot. There was also the chalk board method where they erased words as we went. We also had kids come up who knew them to recite them for the Primary.
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PLUS we wanted to have as many kids pass them off as possible before the Primary Program in October, which ended up being in November.
We had 15 kids and many of the teachers and leaders who learned and passed off the articles of faith. Those who had passed them all off, stood in the front of the Ward during our Program, and recited them all, front to back. The rest of the Primary stood behind them too, and recited all the articles they personally knew. It was seriously one of the most memorable experience of my life. It was a POWERFUL reminder of what we believe, and of who we want to be.
June 2019: My Birthday Boat Party
Too many people on a boat
The blog post really describes the event. But it is one of my fondest memories. It shows’ Kristin’s dedication to showing her love and having fun with us. Because she loves us so much.
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July 2019
Temple to Temple Run
Another well documented event, just to put a fine point on it, no one would go with me. But they did. Great, loving, supportive friends.
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May 2020
Mirah’s Baptism-Chinese Book of Mormon
Well documents, but I just wanted to share on part of it to show why it meant so much for me:
“The story of how it was acquired is a good one. As a gift to the Primary children, the ward gives them a copy of the Book of Mormon with their name on it. We just got Mirah her very own leather copy of the scriptures. So, thinking that distribution would easily have a copy in Mandarin, have them, I asked Kristin if Mirah could have one in Mandarin instead. Mirah’s Mandarin has been getting better, so I thought it would be fun for her to get a book she is familiar with in her second language. BUT, none of our local distribution centers had a copy. Now, if it were me, I would have stopped there, but no Kristin. She called the local missionaries to see if they could get a copy. Two days later after a trip to the mission home, they brought her the book.
Kristin gave it to Sydney, who to took it to Deseret Book, and had it embossed. Just in time to get it to Mirah first thing in the morning on her birthday. And that is just the kind of friend Kristin is.”
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All of the SO supportive, loving, and kind.
October 2019
Being Released and Our Last Meeting
We spent time together. Talking about what we learned, bearing our testimonies, and reviewing our time together. It was one of those moments in time I wish I could freeze. Sitting with trusted friends, feeling a sense deep accomplishment at finishing something that was beautiful. Sitting with women who I know that have had serious struggles, and have found their happiness in the gospel. Sitting with a group of women that I so deeply love and respect that I know love me too, just meant everything to me. I don’t know when I will sit in such a gathering again, so I will have to hold the memory and the feeling close, and never forget it.